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10.01.2024

Parent Spotlight: Antoinette Jacobs

Meet Antoinette Jacobs, a mom and advocate. Learn more about Antoinette’s journey through her son’s Autism diagnosis and why parent leadership and engagement are so important.

Antoinette, thank you for participating today. Tell us a little about yourself and your family. 

My husband and I will be married for 11 years this September. We have one child who is 4 years of age. We met by mentoring high school students with a non-profit in California. We fell in love with each other and what we were doing. After marriage, we continued to work with youth at our church in California where we oversaw the Youth and Young Adult Ministry. This also sparked a passion, and I began to mentor and coach inner-city youth and women. I also attended and contributed to meetings with SHIELDS for families in southern California.

Seven years later, God blessed us with our miracle, rainbow baby right at the onset of COVID-19. During this time, our son had been dealing with some developmental delays. I had been working as a train and bus operator for more than 17 years. I had to make a tough decision to trade in my uniform to be a stay-at-home mom. 

After my resignation, we decided to relocate to Nevada. Seeking support for our son, we received help through the Nevada Early Intervention Services Program. When he turned 3 years old, we transitioned to Child Find. After attending PreK, we continued to have some concerns about development, and with the help of the school, we received the diagnosis that he is on the Autism Spectrum.

Tell us a little about your experience with receiving the Autism diagnosis for your son.

Originally, it was just for developmental delays and speech. As the school year went on, his teacher began to notice some other symptoms and brought it up. At first, I was in a bit of denial. I wanted to give him some time, but after talking to her, I brought it up to his PreK teacher. We then scheduled him for another IEP and that’s when he was diagnosed.

It’s tough to get a diagnosis like this or to hear that your child may have special needs. We didn’t have a lot of exposure to kids with special needs and it raises stigmas that you don’t always want to address. If I were to talk to another parent going through a similar situation, I would say it’s not about you – it's about that child and what they need to have a better quality of life. 

Labeling was one of my biggest fears and one that many families face. It’s not so much the label that will hold you back, it’s your mindset. As long as you see that child as someone worth being poured into, critical to our environment and our community, take that time to see what is going on and what they need, as soon as possible. 

Take them in to get seen and see what is going on. Ask questions and don’t back down. When I first took my son to his pediatrician and questioned his development, they told me “oh, it’s a boy thing,” but I knew something wasn’t right. The doctors are not the ones who see the child 24/7. As parents, we know our children better than anyone else, so we have to keep pushing to get the answers and supports they need.

At one point, we were given a referral to speech pathology, but services were denied because they said it wasn’t “medically necessary.” That didn’t make sense to me – speech is part of his development. So, I had to take a different path and find another way to get him the services he needed.

Mom’s have a secret intuition – if you’ve got something telling you that something just isn’t right, listen to it and make sure it gets addressed as soon as possible. If you don’t, you are going to delay and hinder the future and possibilities that this child can bring not only to this world, but what they are able to do for themselves.

You recently joined the Nevada Early Childhood Family Leadership Council. What led you to join this group?

This year I just started to serve with some amazing parents with the Nevada Early Childhood Family Leadership Council (NECFLC South). NECFLC empowers parents by providing resources and training so that parents are equipped to advocate for their children.

I'm always looking for opportunities to contribute to my community. I would participate in the Family Engagement Meetings at our son's school and I heard about the NECFLC from there. Furthermore, as a parent who has a child with special needs, I thought it would be a great opportunity to join a group, connect, and equip myself to advocate for my son. I also hope to inspire others to share their voices.

What does parent leadership mean to you and why is it important?

In my opinion, parent leadership is when a parent chooses to step up and find solutions to combat the challenges that may impact the growth, development and ultimately the future of their child/children. 

As parents, we are role models in our homes and our communities. Parents can also represent and advocate for their family's needs and share their perspectives which can help contribute to programs and other services offered in the community. 

Have you had a chance to look at the First 5 Nevada website? If so, what are your thoughts on this new resource for families?

It is a lot of information! As a parent, I wish this was available when I first moved here. I didn’t have a clue on where to start and we weren’t expecting our life to take the turn it did. Luckily, my son was at Acelero and they had a resource table where I started to get some information, but it was hard to figure out what all of the resources and programs were that could provide support. 

I had a chance to use the screener recently to see what I qualified for and it was really easy to use. I also liked that I could have my results emailed to me so I can go back and look at the list whenever I might need it. 

What changes do you think need to be made to improve Nevada’s early childhood system? 

The waitlists for programs are really long – some services as long as a year out. That is too long for children to have to wait and I feel especially bad for families with children who are lower than my son on the spectrum. They need services now and can’t wait a year. 

We need more classes for parents on how to support their children too. Overall, I think the system needs to provide support to the whole family. A one stop shop for all of the resources – support for the family, therapies, doctors and things like that. Even more support and guiding at the schools. More intense training for teachers on dealing with children with special needs.

Is there anything else that you would like to share?

To my parent leaders, we have been charged with the opportunity to influence positive change in our communities. I’m learning, even now, how much my voice matters. We can all contribute to making a difference, leaving behind a better world for our children and their children's children. Get involved!